A wise colleague of mine took the company we worked for through a process to define our values. At the time, I thought it was a fun, insightful exercise and while I was supportive, I didn’t understand the impact it would have.

Over the next two years, I found myself referencing those values on a regular basis — for interviews, performance reviews, client and employee relationships, and generally every important decision I was making, especially when times were tough. 

Since then, I’ve connected with new people and reconnected with others. I’ve thought a lot about the thousands of people I’ve met. Why did I remain connected to some and not others? Why could I gather dozens of friends from all walks of life, and know without a doubt they’d all get along even when we didn’t all share similar backgrounds, demographics, income status, political views, education, etc? 

I also started competing with my horse, Sam. Riding in new environments with different challenges was so appealing — but I hated the competition part. Why did so many people care so much about winning? Why couldn't we all just go have fun and try to beat our own personal record? It was at one of these events that I coined the term “THE PROPER MISFITS,” and the slogan, “It’s the ride, not the win.” I didn’t want to disrespect the sport, I simply wanted people to start asking these questions and consider possible alternatives. 

I realized my entire life, I’ve been a PROPER MISFIT trying to operate with respect for why things are the way they are while also wondering how they could evolve for the betterment of the whole. But what did that actually mean to me? All of these things got me thinking about my personal values. And a bell went off – the reason certain humans remained in my life is that we share the same values. Having this foundation meant the relationships remained despite constant changes in our lives. It also explained why the connections between friends were contagious. 

I started to consider how this played into my professional success. Operating from a place of shared values allowed the companies and the employees to grow. It gave us the courage to ask the tough questions, the curiosity to find opportunity in challenges, the authenticity to be our true selves regardless of the audience, the humility to acknowledge others’ strengths and our weaknesses, and the resilience to keep going in the face of unknowns. And we thrived! 

Having such a diverse network has enriched my life beyond measure. It has provided a space for me to think outside of conventional norms, ask questions I hadn’t considered, and explore new approaches. Having support, accountability, and inspiration from a wide range of individuals has given me a more sustainable and fulfilling life.

This got me thinking — what if we could create a scalable community based on these values and operate accordingly? 

And thus THE PROPER MISFITS was born — the desire to create a community (not a business or institution) that shares the same values above all else. I hope to create a community that welcomes diversity in knowledge and experiences. That allows us to learn and grow from each other. To implement new, creative, sustainable practices — from drought-tolerant gardening to pay equity — that produce better results for everyone. 

THE PROPER MISFITS puts all members on a level playing field and appreciates what everyone brings. Most importantly, the community prioritizes values over differences. We are founded on five core values: Courage, Curiosity, Authenticity, Humility, and Resilience. We are a community that can be accessed for any reason. We support each other’s strengths and weaknesses, we hold each other accountable, and we inspire each other to grow as humans. We are brave, resilient risk-takers, who are not afraid to question norms and try new things. We are also humble, authentic listeners that genuinely want to understand others. These principles, and each other, make us Misfits and Proper. If you believe in these values, are dedicated to maintaining them, and are interested in being part of a community that shares them, then you are a PROPER MISFIT! 

P.S. THE PROPER MISFITS goal is not to drive revenue. Currently, apparel sales are simply covering costs.  If this ever changes, I’ll inform this group immediately. And it goes without saying that I’ll use these values to determine how that money is used and distributed.